WWE WrestleMania 34 predictions

After taking some time off due to other obligations, I've decided to make my comeback, because I just couldn't miss WrestleMania. Wrestling cards are always hard to predict, especially the bigger ones. But I love doing these, because they really get my creative juices flowing. 

I think the card itself is a good one, but I don't think that they've placed enough emphasis on the top matches. Regardless, I'm still looking forward to it, and if everything runs smoothly, it could be one of the greatest WrestleManias of all time.

Here are my thoughts and predictions from start to finish...

Kick-off:

Cedric Alexander vs. Mustafa Ali in the tournament finals to crown a new Cruiserweight Champion

As much as I'd love to see this match on the main card, the cruiserweights always seem to take a backseat, in terms of card placement, which will probably be the same case at 'Mania. The good news is that because this will likely end up on the kick-off, they will probably be given a lot more time, whereas if it were on the main card, they'd be lucky to get five minutes. As an added bonus, we get to hear Rockstar Spud/Drake Maverick on commentary. As good a match as I'm anticipating here, the other unfortunate thing is that I don't think either one of these guys can carry this division, and regardless of who wins here, this title will probably find its way back to Neville once he returns. As Ali goes for that rolling neckbreaker that he does, Alexander catches him in mid move, and drills him with the lumbar check to win the title.

The Usos vs. The New Day vs. The Bludgeon Brothers in a triple threat match for The Smackdown! Live Tag Team Championships

This is just an obvious attempt to try to get everybody on the card. I don't think it does Harper and Rowan any favours to win these titles in a triple threat, and they don't really need to be in the match to begin with. After the number of classics that The Usos and New Day have had in 2017, it's really unfortunate that they're probably going to end up on the kick-off, as both teams deserve to be on the main show, considering that they pretty much dominated the tag team scene in 2017, and I don't just mean in the WWE. Having said that, this feud has barely been an afterthought on Smackdown in recent weeks, and hasn't received enough attention to earn them a spot on the main show. I expect it to be a good one, as I think Rowan would probably be the only one having problems keeping up in this match. I see New Day getting the belts here by pinning The Usos, and thus ending the feud once and for all. Following 'Mania, The New Day spin off into a feud with The Bludgeon Brothers, while The Usos are drafted to Raw. 

​Women's WrestleMania Battle Royal

I don't see any need for two battle royals on the main show, and considering the fact that this one doesn't even have a name anymore, I think this will be bumped. I think the purpose of the battle royal should be two-fold. Firstly, it should advance the feud between Sasha Banks and Bayley, who really deserve their own singles match. The other thing is that whoever wins this should be outside the main roster, as I don't think it would benefit anybody from Raw or Smackdown to win this, because they would likely just be in the exact same position following WrestleMania. However, if someone new were to win, at least you'd have a fresh face in the mix. Originally, I was thinking it would be Nikki Cross, but I think it would be better for Sanity to debut together. So I'm going to predict that Bianca Belair wins this one. Kairi Sane hasn't had enough focus on NXT yet, and I think it would be premature to debut her on the main roster at this point, though I can see her being in the match at least. In the end, I see a similar finish to the '92 Royal Rumble, where Sasha eliminates Bayley from behind, and then Bayley comes back to help Belair eliminate Sasha to win. 

Main card:

Chloe x Halle perform America the Beautiful 
​
The Miz vs. Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor in a triple threat match for The Intercontinental Championship

There are a lot of multiple man matches on this card, so I can totally see one of them opening the show. I'm actually a little surprised that this one has received as much attention as it has, but with three former world champions in it, I guess I shouldn't be. This should be a great opening match. The Miz is one of the best talkers in the company, and Balor and Rollins are two of the strongest in-ring performers. I would have preferred a one-on-one match between Balor and Rollins, but I'm guessing we will probably end up getting that down the road. They've managed to keep all three of these guys strong in recent weeks, and I like the idea of Miz ignite a feud between Balor and Rollins, so it distracts them from going after him. There are a number of things to consider in this match. I don't know how healthy Rollins is, as he's apparently been working through an injury for some time, although I don't know the severity of it. It obviously can't be that serious, if he's still able to work. Maryse also just gave birth to her and Miz's child, so I don't know if he's going to be taking time off after 'Mania. But Miz has been constantly playing up the fact that he's only about 30 days away from being the longest reigning IC Champ in history (I'm assuming he means combined reigns), so I can totally see him walking away with the belt here. I don't think Rollins has ever beaten Balor in the WWE outside of a six-man tag, so that could also play into the finish a little bit. I see the end come when Balor goes for the coup de grace on Rollins, but Rollins moves. Balor lands on his feet, only for Rollins to drop him to his knees with a superkick to the midsection. Rollins hits a second superkick to Balor's face, and then follow up with The Stomp, but Rollins tweaks his knee on the way down. This allows Miz to sneak in, and steal the pin on Balor, as Rollins is too late to react. 

[Highlights of WrestleMania weekend are shown next, followed by a recap of the Women's Battle Royal from the kick-off]

[Charlie is backstage with Bianca Belair]

Charlie: Bianca, quite an impressive performance tonight. Welcome to WrestleMania!

Bianca: You're damn right it was an impressive performance. You know before tonight, not a lot of people knew who I was. But now, everybody will remember my name! Specifically those ladies from Raw and Smackdown! Live who just weren't good enough to hang with me tonight. 

Charlie: Well, what's next for you?

Bianca: What's next is that I'm serving notice to anyone in the women's locker room who carries championship gold around her waist, and I'm letting everybody know that I'm coming for them.

[Bianca's eyes wander off screen, as the camera pans to show Asuka standing there]

Asuka: You might have won battle royal. You might be ready for WrestleMania. You might be ready for Raw or Smackdown! Live. But no one is ready for Asuka!

Charlotte vs. Asuka for the Smackdown! Live Women's Championship

This is one of the matches that I'm most looking forward to, as it certainly has the potential to steal the show. I wouldn't be surprised if this is the opening bout, but it should be a good one no matter where it's placed. I see this going at least 20 minutes, and I think these girls will both be working very stiff. In the latter stages of the match, Charlotte applies the Figure 8, and lasts a really long time in the hold, only to make it to the ropes. Charlotte then continues to work over Asuka's knee, and attempts the move again later on, only for Asuka to pull her into an inside cradle, which Charlotte barely kicks out of. The end comes where Charlotte goes for the Natural Selection, but doesn't get all of it, allowing Asuka to take Charlotte's back and apply the Asuka lock. Charlotte lasts as long as she possibly can, but eventually taps out, and Asuka is the new champion. 

[A limo pulls into the parking garage, and Triple H and Stephanie get out, and make their way into the building]

[Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey are shown in the GM's office, watching from a monitor. They speak a few words to each other, but there's no audio]

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

They've been doing this for a while now, and in previous years, I never really saw a point to it, as past winners have never really benefited from it. However, with the Andre documentary being released soon, I think it's important to have it on the card this year. Having said that, it seems like a match for a big man to win. I heard a rumour that Goldberg is supposed to be in it, and if that's true, I really can't see anyone else winning. A babyface won last year, so I'm hoping that a heel wins this year, and I'm thinking it might be Killian Dain. Sanity is just about ready to debut on the main roster, and this guy could potentially be another Braun Strowman. 

AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura for The WWE World Heavyweight Championship

This is going to be another fantastic match, regardless of where it's placed. Styles' health is obviously in question here, as he's another guy who's rumoured to be working through an injury, but I still have no doubts that this will be a great match. Nakamura's success is starting to remind me a lot of Rob Van Dam circa 2001. Yes, he's over, but how long will that last? I love Nakamura's ring work and his charisma, but I don't think he's connecting as well on the main roster, and even if he wins this match, I can't see a lengthy title run in his future. He's packed with charisma, but so was The Great Muta, and he was another guy who was always used to get babyfaces over, but was never really considered a top draw in The United States. I hate to say it, but the truth of the matter is that if you can't cut a decent promo, you're never going to get over as a top guy, as evident by Roman Reigns. It's a shame, because Nakamura has everything else, but unfortunately because English is not his first language, I can never see him drawing any money in the WWE. I hope that I'm wrong, but let's face it, if you can't talk, you're not going to make it very far. WrestleMania wouldn't have been nearly as successful without Roddy Piper, Hulk Hogan and Mr. T promoting the hell out of it. They are universally recognized as three of the best talkers in the history of the event, and while fans will still cheer for Nakamura regardless, I can't see him getting any kind of outside media attention. There's a reason why Muhammad Ali is probably the greatest professional athlete of all time. He had the skills in the ring, but he could also sell tickets. Anyway, onto the match. As I said, it should be a great one. I can see AJ being the first guy to kick out of the kinshasa, only for Nakamura to reload and hit it again with more 'oomph,' finally putting AJ down for the three count. Nakamura wins the title, and hopefully has a longer run than I think. 

[Highlights from the Hall of Fame are shown next, and then the inductees are introduced to the live crowd]

​Triple H and Stephanie McMahon vs. Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey

I may be in the minority, but I actually liked the contract signing angle between these four. I found Stephanie to be the best performer of the four, but I would have liked to see this feud get a lot more attention than it has. Both Angle and Rousey have been very awkward on the microphone, so it was probably a good idea to not have them talk for the last couple of weeks. This match could either be very good or very bad, depending on how it's booked. I see Triple H getting the pin on Angle with the pedigree, after using the sledgehammer. After the match, Triple H and Stephanie start cornering Rousey, but Angle gets back up and takes Triple H down with an Angle slam. Stephanie is then alone with Rousey, who makes her furiously tap out to Rousey's arm bar. 

[The pay per view panel give their thoughts on the night thus far]

​Randy Orton vs. Bobby Roode vs. Jinder Mahal vs. Rusev in a fatal four-way match for The United States Championship

This match doesn't really do anything for me, as it just seems like an easy way to get everybody on the show. I don't expect this to go very long, and I would not be surprised if this ends up on the kick-off show. It should be a decent match, but it seems like all four of these guys could be in a better position. Given the fact that Rusev was added at the last minute, I'm fully expecting him to walk away with the belt here. I can see Mahal and Rusev working together for the majority of the match. Eventually, Mahal tries to double cross Rusev, but it backfires, and Rusev kicks Mahal in the face and takes the title, before Orton or Roode can make the save, as they're brawling on the outside. I think 'Mania will be the official face turn for Rusev, who spins off into a singles feud with Mahal, while both Orton and Roode are drafted to Raw. 

[A commercial for the Andre the Giant documentary airs next]

​The Bar (Cesaro and Sheamus) vs. Braun Strowman and ??? for the Raw Tag Team Championships

I've heard a lot of rumours lately in regards to Strowman's mystery partner. Honestly, I would have preferred that this was a handicap match, just to make Strowman look more impressive. I think we can automatically rule out Elias as a possibility, as it wouldn't make a whole lot of sense story line wise, considering that he's been competing in filler matches on Raw for the last couple of weeks, and there hasn't really been any kind of tease of him being the partner. The latest one I've heard was Rey Mysterio, but Rey recently tore his bicep, which took him off the NJPW card, so I don't see that as a possibility either, and I don't like that pairing at all anyway. If Samoa Joe was the partner, I feel like they wouldn't have kept it as a surprise. Bobby Lashley is another name that's been floating about, and I don't care for that pairing of he and Strowman either. Having said that, I'm going to go with the one that makes the most sense, and that's Big Cass. Quite honestly, I think Strowman is above the tag division, but if they're going that route, why not give somebody else a push out of it? There are way too many matches on this card, so I think one is probably going to be a squash. Strowman and Cass win the belts in under a minute. After the match, Sheamus and Cesaro start blaming each other for losing the titles, and they come to blows. Following WrestleMania, Cesaro gets drafted to Smackdown! Live, and Sheamus remains on Raw.

​Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns for The Universal Championship

This match should be good, but it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me, considering how both of these guys have been booked in the last year. They are the only two men to have beaten The Undertaker at WrestleMania, but since last year's WrestleMania, Reigns lost two pay per view matches to Braun Strowman, he lost a fatal five-way at Extreme Rules, he was pinned by Lesnar at SummerSlam, eliminated from The Royal Rumble, and he even lost to The Miz, while Lesnar hasn't lost a match since winning the title. So how is it that Reigns keeps getting these opportunities? Just a thought to consider. I see this match starting in a similar way as last year's match between Brock and Goldberg. Reigns immediately spears Lesnar as soon as the bell rings. He then hits another spear on the outside, crashing Lesnar through the security wall. Just as Lesnar gets back to his feet, Reigns places him on the announce table, and hits a running spear off the middle table, and they both crash through the far announce table. Lesnar eventually makes a comeback, taking Reigns to suplex city, but his ribs are obviously bothering him. The end comes when Lesnar hits an F-5, but is unable to capitalize due to rib injuries from the multiple spears. This allows Reigns to spear Lesnar again into the exposed turnbuckle. Much to Reigns' surprise, Lesnar pops right back up and loads Reigns up for an F-5, but drops, as he can't support the weight because of the injured ribs. Reigns then hits a final spear to win the title. 

[The pay per view panel run through more of their thoughts]

Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax for The Raw Women's Championship

This could easily be another squash match, and whatever the case may be, I don't see it going very long. Mickie James gets involved almost immediately, and Nia chases her around the ring and shoves her into the steps. Nia charges at her, but Mickie moves, so Nia crashes knee-first into the ring steps. Bliss takes full advantage and goes after Nia's knee. Later in the match, Nia loads Bliss up for a powerbomb, but her knee gives out, and Bliss ends up falling on top of Nia. Mickie then reaches in from the outside and holds Nia's foot, as Bliss gets the cheap victory, and keeps the title. Following WrestleMania, both Mickie and Nia are drafted to Smackdown! Live to spin off into a singles feud, while Bliss remains the champion on Raw. 

Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn - If Owens and Zayn win, they are rehired

I'm all for Daniel Bryan returning to the ring, but this has to be one of the dumbest stipulations I've ever heard of. Bryan and Shane essentially get nothing out of this, while Owens and Zayn have nothing to lose. Just as Bryan is getting fired up. He climbs to the top rope to hit what looks like diving headbutt on Owens, but Shane tags himself in, much to Bryan's surprise. Shane tries to hit the elbow drop off the top, but he misses. Shane beats Owens to his feet and attempts to run the ropes, but accidentally into the side that Bryan is on, and knocks Bryan off the apron. The distraction allows Owens to hit the pop-up powerbomb on Shane for the win, as Zayn prevents Bryan from making the save. After the match, Zayn and Owens double-team Shane, but then Bryan makes the save and destroys both of them. Shane then gets to his feet and apologizes to Bryan for losing the match, as Bryan just shakes his head and walks away.

John Cena vs. The Undertaker in a Career match

I was originally going to go with Triple H and Stephanie vs. Angle and Rousey to close the show, until I heard about this rumoured stipulation. If it is true, then I can't see any other match ending the night. It'll be interesting to see how Taker performs here. He can't be in great shape, but considering that this will probably be his last hurrah, I can totally see him pulling out all stops to make this work. I see this ending the same way the Michaels/Undertaker match ended. After Taker kicks out of two AAs, and then struggles to his feet, Cena has a look of sympathy on his face, but reluctantly loads Taker up for a third AA to seal the deal. So basically WrestleMania ends the same way it did last year, with Taker leaving his gloves in the ring, but this time for good.

So there you have it.

Here are my match predictions for Backlash:

Roman Reigns vs. Samoa Joe for The Universal Championship

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Sami Zayn for The WWE World Heavyweight Championship

John Cena vs. Bobby Lashley

Asuka vs. Natalya for The Smackdown! Live Women's Championship

Alexa Bliss vs. Ember Moon for The Raw Women's Championship

Braun Strowman and Big Cass vs. AJ Styles (Drafted to Raw) and Finn Balor vs. Bobby Roode and Randy Orton vs. The Authors of Pain in a fatal four-way elimination match for The Raw Tag Team Championships

The Miz vs. Seth Rollins for The Intercontinental Championship

Kevin Owens vs. Daniel Bryan